The journey into parenthood wasn’t particularly easy for us, during the pregnancy I was very very sick and even ended up in hospital a couple of times as I couldn’t keep anything down, there was also some foods that I would eat and even the tiniest amount would make me throw up. I also suffered with pelvic pain which meant getting plenty of exercise was quite difficult. We also were squashed into one room as we were living with Wills parents at the time so we had to be very smart with what we could buy as we were limited on storage space.
Although, the anticipation of meeting our little cherub, seeing her in the scans and feeling those little kicks made it all worth it, she kept us strong through everything we faced that year. We were in love with her and she wasn’t even here yet.
Then the due date arrived…nothing. She was staying put and I was trying everything, from eating spicy foods, bouncing on the exercise ball, plenty of sex, as many short walks as I could manage and even contemplated using evening primrose oil. She didn’t arrive until 8 days later.
It was my 24thbirthday when she decided that she was going to make an appearance, early labour started that evening. I couldn’t really sleep that night because I was anxious, excited and in pain but I pushed through until the next day, those contractions were tough, there slowly but surely getting stronger and longer but it felt like it was taking an eternity! So we went to the hospital, but I wasn’t far enough along so was sent home.
Another night passed and still nothing, by this point I was already exhausted but I knew I had to find the strength to carry on. That morning the pain was too much and they were getting closer and closer so we rushed back over to the hospital due to the advice of the midwifes and they admitted me into the antenatal ward, where I spent the night (which I later found out I shouldn’t have done) I had at least 3 doses of pethidine and later on had a sweep to try and speed things up. By this point I was in a lot of pain and the energy reserves were low, Will was an absolute superstar already as he stayed by my side the entire time, he managed to calm me down at every contraction so that I could breathe through it and make it to the next one.
Finally by early morning I had made it onto the delivery ward, I was in active labour! Even though I was tired and in pain I was excited to finally do it, finally get this baby out! A couple of hours I thought and shell be here. I was wrong. Unfortunately, I can’t remember the name of the first midwife but she did a wonderful job, she helped me into the birthing pool and helped keep me relaxed and hydrated. There was still no sign of baby, so she pulled me out of the pool and decided to break my waters, even with gas and air that was not a pleasant experience. Then back into the pool. At some point there was a switch over but I genuinely struggle to remember much of my time in labour in the pool; I’m sure at one point Will had to wake me up.
By now I had a midwife and a trainee midwife helping me, more fluids were being sent my way and my head was being wiped. Our baby girl was so close, she was right there but I just couldn’t push her out, I was so so tired and the ladies knew this. So they helped me out of the pool and onto a bed that had just wheeled in, then the midwife made a failed attempt to insert a cannula into my arm, I distinctly remember there being lots of blood and a towel. Eventually she managed it, and they tried to strengthen me up by giving me some fluids and the drug that speeds up labour but to no avail.
“I think mum is too tired, shes going to need some help” My stomach knotted in fear, my first thought was what if they need to operate on me to get her out, then it went to “Oh god no, not the forceps” The midwives then came over to me to explain that I would probably need a bit of help to get my baby out, she wasn’t distressed but it was clear I didn’t have the energy to do it by myself. Luckily they opted for the ventouse, unluckily for me though this meant I needed an episiotomy but I just wanted my baby girl to be safe and this ordeal to be over. However when it came to making the cut that are hadn’t been anesthetised correctly and my god did I feel it!
I then got scared as I suddenly couldn’t feel the contractions anymore but I was off the gas and air as it was making me too sleepy, I knew I had to push but I couldn’t tell when and I didn’t want to push at the wrong time and hurt either of us, but there were shouts of encouragement from every angle so I pushed and pushed but she just wasn’t coming, until of course the surgeon pulled on that contraption and that was the only time I had screamed. Her head was out! Will was crying and the midwives were squealing because our little one was already trying to look around, then suddenly with one last push she was out…but then so were the lights! A power cut! I went to reach for my baby as she was passed up and the midwife to my right said “there she is, grab your baby” But I couldn’t, my arm was stuck, I looked over and in the excitement of it all the fully trained midwife had rushed forward to try and catch our little one instead of letting the trainee catch her and in the process, had stood on my cannula tubes, thus in turn nearly ripping it out and yanking my arm up.
Finally she was here, snuggled up on my chest, this beautiful little thing we had created and id never been prouder. She was born at 10:45 and at 8 pounds 12 ounces. I thought that was it, I had forgotten about the fact I needed to be stitched up but I wont ever forget it now, I felt every single stitch and had to restrain myself from screaming right next to my newborn daughters precious ear, so I just held onto Will as he tried to explain to the surgeon that I could feel it, eventually it was over and then suddenly we were alone, this once busy room was suddenly empty. I revelled in the moment of finally having her here in this small hot room, since the power had gone out the heating had got stuck on.
Shortly after Will had rang around to announce our baby’s arrival my parents had arrived, we had passed her over for cuddles and then suddenly everything came crashing down around us. Suddenly the midwife had spotted her breathing wasn’t right and without saying anything to us, ran out of the room to grab a machine, she hooked her up to it and her oxygen levels were sitting at 92. Before I knew it another doctor was rushed in and our baby was whisked away. Something was horribly wrong.
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